"WHO THE F**K IS MR. TORGUE?!"

Murder McBadass is back!
BITCHES!
A reader asked me a pretty weird-ass question the other day!
This reader was all,
"Dear Murder McBadass,
You sound a lot like Mr. Torgue from the Borderlands video games. Have you met this guy yet? He seems like he would be your cup of tea.
Sincerely
*********" (I censored that shit so this reader could remain anonymous! INTERNET SAFETY IS MANLY!)
So when I was reading this mail I was all
WHO THE F**K IS MR. TORGUE?!
So naturally I had to search the cosmos for answers because using Google is for pansy-ass-bitches!
AND MY INTERNET WAS ALSO DOWN!
Why would this reader say this so called "Mr.Torgue" is my "cup of tea??" I drink mountain dew and whale protein! TEA IS TOO FANCY FOR ME unless I am wearing TWO MONOCLES AND A TOP HAT! 
Plus mountain dew is better! Except for that time it killed my hamster!
I MISS THAT LITTLE BASTARD!
Anyway, here's the shit that I found! (Click the link or you're less than negative ten! THAT IS ONE LESS THAN NEGATIVE NINE!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KM7hLzhAdD8


...
...
...
EXPLOSION NOISE!
Oh my GOD! This man is PERFECT. He has pecs on his pecs! Mr.Torgue clearly LOVES MOUNTAIN DEW AND WHALE PROTEIN!
If I could potentially be gay it would be for Mr.Torgue!
But lady boobs are too damn nice, am I right guys?! (And ladies! You can't deny that shit!)
Everything that man says is both literally and figuratively gold!
He makes GUNS that EXPLODE????
UNNECESSARY CENSORSHIP!?
HOLY F**KING SH*T THIS MAN IS PERFECT!
Perfection doesn't exist unless it's me or Mr. Torgue!
That reader was right! Mr. Torgue is my cup of Mountain Dew infused with whale protein!
MOUNTAIN DEWFUSIONTEIN...uh...WHALE!
I'm going to go buy an exploding gun and punch some bad guys in the dick!
Peace!
BITCHES!